Ladies and gentlemen, peasants and noblemen … SHALOM!

“… between John Lewis and quiche, We’ve established our niche!”

Shafthead Lawn Tennis Association is a tennis club like no other. Presided over by FRANCESCA DEL LAZULA, a tyrannical buxom Brazilian matriarch, the tennis club is where every middle-aged housewife languishes hopelessly after her devilishly attractive tennis coach, Willy Straddlebottom, a man with a dirty secret… DEL LAZULA'S greasy son GABRIEL is the defending champion of the sacrosanct Under 15 Tennis Club Championship title but when a new family, the STANDARDS, moves to Shafthead from Doncaster– the wide-eyed new tennis talent Matthew Standard poses a threat to Gabriel’s reign. Enlisting the help of the nervy Willy Straddlebottom, Francesca del Lazula concocts a sick and twisted plan to ensure that Matthew will never seize the title from her boy. As the club descends into a chaos of flailing arms and hysteria, it is up to the precocious and wonderful fifteen-year old Pansy and Matthew to save the day.

A brand spanking new script and score, performed by a twenty-strong cast and live jazz band – Broadway really has arrived in North London suburbia!